Page 4 October 14, 2021 EL SEGUNDO HERALD
Dear Neighborhood Therapist,
I know I need to apply for a new job. I
have been here a long time, and I am well
respected by my bosses and colleague, but
it’s not taking me anywhere in terms of my
career or my earnings needs and potential. I
have wanted to change jobs for a long time,
but now I am getting older and it feels more
“urgent” and I have reached my limit. There
are two problems that I am constantly running
into: first, I feel like maybe I have stayed in
my job too long. Every time I look at a job
description for something that looks similar
to what I do, I see this long list of qualifications
that I do not have, and I get intimidated,
and I end up not applying. Second, I think,
“what if I get the job, and I don’t like it at
all and I’m stuck there?” I believe that you
are supposed to stick it out in a job, even if
you don’t like it very much, and so I end up
not applying. This all makes me feel even
more stuck, and more horrible about myself.
Is it possible to break this cycle?
– Stuck in a Job Rut, El Segundo
Dear Stuck,
Yes, it is possible to break the cycle; once
you break the cycle, I suspect you will start
to feel much better. First, let’s have a quick
look at power in the employer/employee
relationship.
We live in a culture that teaches us to be
submissive to employers, and you, like all
of us, have been subject to this your whole
life. Employers, of course, support this idea
because they benefit from it: if you feel lucky
to have a job, you won’t complain so much
about your salary or working conditions.
To further increase this sense of power
imbalance, employers may use language
and terminology that sounds corporate and
intimidating. Sometimes, “generate and analyze
financial reports” really means, “click
the ‘create report’ button and tell your boss
if the number is higher or lower than the
last time you clicked the button.”
That all sounds scary, but remember that
if an employer is posting a job, it’s because
they also have a need. As someone who has
stayed in your job a long time, thus proving
that you are responsible enough to hold and
thrive in the job, you are already steps ahead
of many, many candidates.
So apply anyway, whether or not you feel
you are an exact match. I promise you that
people far less qualified than you are going for
the same jobs. Employers do not encourage
this, but they do expect it. Employers rarely
require an exact match, but your consistency
will certainly be appealing. And if they say
no, well, that could be for dozens of reasons
that have absolutely nothing to do with you.
You have a point about your fear of not
liking a new job. It’s possible! You might
have jumped out of the frying pan and into
the fire. But I am not sure I agree that you
should always stick it out at a job. This
is another “unwritten rule” that employers
encourage, to their own benefit. If the job
turns out to be not what you were promised,
on what basis would you feel that you need
to stick with it anyway, no matter what?
Your letter shows you’ve decided that the
cost of staying where you are is unsustainably
high and that you have decided that the
risk is worth it. It’s not all that different from
having a surgery that will improve your life.
It’s scary anyway, and you are right in the
middle of the scary part. Do you have people
to hold your hand and help you through it?
They will certainly help.
Finally, a quick pep talk: remember that
if you are skilled in your field and you are
a decent, reliable human being (and you
have presented evidence that you are all of
these things), then you are not powerless at
all, so go for it.
Please write to tom@tomandrecounseling.
com or text to 310.776.5299 with questions
about handling what is affecting your life,
your family, the community or the world.
Tom Andre is a Licensed Marriage & Family
Therapist (LMFT119254). The information
in this column is for educational purposes
only and nothing herein should be construed
as professional advice or the formation of a
therapeutic relationship. •
Your Neighborhood Therapist
Sports from page 3
junior, and ending with the seniors. Leading
the way were the prince and princesses riding
in convertibles and dancing students following
their lavish Disney Themed floats. The
floats were judged, and the senior class won
with their ‘Star Wars’ theme float.
Most in the South Bay gave the Eagles little
chance to defeat the Saxons. Head Coach
Shawn Green prepared his team thoughtfully,
but acknowledged the David versus Goliath
scenario. The Eagles would need to play a
clean game to have a chance against a team
that doesn’t make many mistakes.
The Saxons scored the game’s first points
on their second possession, highlighted by
Trevor Lagarde’s 48-yard pass completion
to Jacob Wicker. It ended with a 1-yard
touchdown run by Toa Ortega and a 6-0 lead
when the PAT was missed.
The Eagles’ were moving the ball but
were stymied until their fourth possession. El
Segundo moved 78 yards in just five plays to
take the lead. Two major penalties against the
Saxons moved the ball to their 12-yard line,
and the Eagles took full advantage. Dylan
Bucher’s rushing attempt to the Saxon 6-yard
line set up Mason Kahn’s 6-yard touchdown
run and a 7-6 lead on Tucker Stevens’ PAT.
The Saxons drive stalled on fourth down
before halftime when Vaughn Huey and Matt
Higginbotham sacked Saxon QB Trevor Lagarde
for a big loss. The Eagles were content
in running out the clock to end the first half.
Homecoming Games are a fun spectacle
that brings together reunions. Between the
first and second quarters, the 1971 El Segundo
baseball team and eight of its members in
attendance were introduced to the massive
crowd. George Brett, Scott McGregor, Jeff
Tidwell, Ed Glotz, Ed Carroll, Jim Bailey,
Frank Judge, and Stu Swiggum represented
the CIF champions who were also named
National Champions in 1971. Also being
recognized was Jim Obradovich, who played
for three teams during his nine years playing
in the NFL.
Then during halftime, each of the classes
performed an extravagant choreographed
dance routine to the delight of the Homecoming
Court that consisted of Homecoming
Queen: Kate Belson and Homecoming King:
Nathan Pascarelli; Freshman Prince: Lucas
Brown and Princess: Dena Aryeh; Sophomore
Prince: Julian Raymond and Princess: Kayden
Kobzina; Junior Prince: Thomas Kendrick and
Princess: Skye Bruce and Senior Princess:
Hana Muslea and Prince: Jordan Tritasavit.
The halftime show concluded with the senior’s
float being named the best. The introduction
of the championship team between quarters
and the halftime show had the envy of the
North Torrance side, who cheered along with
the massive crowd.
In the third quarter, the Saxons forced the
Eagles to punt when their first possession
went nowhere. North Torrance drove down
the field and scored on a pass 6-yard play
from Lagarde to Wicker to take a 12-7 lead.
On the ensuing kickoff, Dylan Bucher took
the return from the El Segundo 12-yard line
and bolted down the Saxon’s sideline. He
broke free from two defenders and went
into the end zone for an initial touchdown.
The epic runback was called back when an
official wiped away the score by throwing a
flag for the block in the back as Bucher was
crossing into the end zone. One El Segundo
coach said it was an unfortunate penalty that
should have been a dead ball penalty penalizing
the Eagles on the kickoff.
Instead of the Eagles taking the lead, they
were penalized and started their drive at the
North Torrance 35-yard line. Unfortunately,
the momentum the Eagles had fizzled out,
and the Saxons took over. Coach Green
said the momentum of a big-time run back
and having it wiped away took a little out
of the offense. “We just couldn’t find the
rhythm,” he said. North went 65-yards in
eight plays to score another touchdown to
take an 18-7 lead.
On the ensuing possession, the Eagles
confronted the Saxons defense while not
flinching. Mason Kahn, who rushed for 61
yards on ten attempts, picked up 16 yards to
move the ball to the North Torrance 45-yard
line. In the next play, Leo Menendez found
Conrad Bernstein open in the flats. Bernstein
shook off one defender and outran the Saxons
secondary on his way to the end zone to cut
the deficit to 18-13 with 1:24 remaining in
the third quarter.
The fourth quarter was one of El Segundo’s
most exciting twelve minutes of the season.
They opened the quarter with a long nineplay
drive that stalled on the Saxons 22-yard
line out on a fourth and two when Menendez
was sacked. North Torrance’s long 13-play
drive was halted when David McPherson
deflected Lagarde’s pass and was intercepted
at El Segundo’s 30-yard with 3:24 left in
the game.
El Segundo’s last possession of the game
would be a nail-biter. The first two plays went
nowhere. On third and long, Menendez connected
with Mason Kahn for a 22-yard gain
and a first down with less than two minutes
remaining. Michael Wilson caught a pass
for 13 yards with 1:08 left. Nate Pascarelli
caught a 12-yard pass to the 6-yard line with
13 seconds remaining. Wilson caught a pass
for a three-yard gain with seven seconds
remaining. El Segundo was three yards away
from making a historical statement. On the
game’s final play, the Saxons sent an overwhelming
blitz that sacked Menendez to end
the game and set off a frenzied jubilation on
the North Torrance sidelines. The Eagles may
have lost the game but gained the respect of
the Saxons.
The Eagles were that close to defeating
North Torrance for the first time in ten
years. Coach Green was proud of the way
his team played. “They played with passion
and believed they can play with anyone.”
Coach Green said this loss will be something
to build on but conceded, “This one hurts.”
The Eagles will try and get their first
Pioneer League win since 2014, when the
Eagles went 5-0 behind Lars Nootbaar at
quarterback. They’ll travel to play the Torrance
Tartars on Friday night at 7 p.m. The
Eagles will return home next Friday night
when the program honors its seniors.
Girl’s Tennis Drops Two
The Lady Eagles suffered two losses as
they neared the end of their season. They
fell to the South Torrance Spartans 12-6.
Freshman Grace Bloom secured 2 points by
winning two of her matches. Both Hannah
K Smith and Hannah A Smith contributed
singles wins each. In doubles, Sam Robert
and Mina Kreski, as well as the team of
Morgen Jackson and Norah Green, each
added one win apiece to the total.
The Lady Eagles then suffered a devastating
loss to the North Torrance Saxons. The
match ended in a 9-9 tie. When the individual
games in each set are counted, El Segundo
came up short, losing by two games. Two
bright spots were the play of doubles team
Sam Robert and Mina Kreski, as well as the
singles play of Grace Bloom, who won all
of their matches. Hannah A Smith secured
a victory in two of her singles matches, and
Hannah K Smith also contributed a singles
victory. The regular season will conclude on
October 19th. •
1971 graduates Jim Obradovich a nine-year NFL veteran, and George Brett, who played 20 years for the Kansas City Royals flank
Kyle McMullin at halftime.
#64 Aidan Pagel, #45 Matt Higginbotham, and #46 Vaughn Huey stopped Dylan Williams short of a first down.