Page 2 May 28, 2020
Your Neighborhood Therapist Entertainment
Dear Neighborhood Therapist,
I have been at my job for eight years. I used
to really like it. When I first started, I was
doing the kind of work I had always hoped to
do. I still do some of that work, and I like my
clients, but there has been a lot of turnover in
these eight years, and it is an entirely different
workplace from the one I joined. Now, the atmosphere
is poisoned with backstabbing careerists,
and that’s just not me. The idea of talking to
my boss and some of my co-workers terrifies
me. I get actual nightmares. My income and
the health insurance my job provides are both
important to our family, but I don’t know if I
can take the stress anymore. It’s affecting my
physical health and our family life. It breaks
my heart that the company I used to love has
changed so much. I don’t know what to do.
– Between a Rock and
Hard Place, El Segundo
Dear Rock and a Hard Place,
Sometimes, if we are lucky in our work and
career, we hit the trifecta: a job that pays the
bills, offers work we find fulfilling, and has
co-workers whom we like and respect. We too
often undervalue this last aspect of our work
life. Work you love can be ruined by the wrong
people around you. Having the right people
around you can make hard jobs more tolerable.
You were lucky and caught lightning in a bottle,
but organizations change just like people do. It
sounds like you entered this job in good faith,
and willingly gave it a part of yourself only to
be betrayed years later. This stinks.
It is also something that happens with human
relationships, and thinking of this as a
relationship is a helpful way to consider your
dilemma. People often stay in relationships
because so much of their identity is connected
to what used to be the good parts. Eight years
ago when you joined, you were happy to associate
yourself with the job you did and the
people around you. Now it’s toxic. How can
you square that? You can’t. Nobody can, but
we all try because we have invested so much,
and it adds to the anxiety.
You hit on something important. Keep hammering
at this: the place has changed. The place
has changed. The place has changed. You are
not the organization you work for. You don’t
share values. This is not what you signed up
for. It is not who you are.
Only you will know if you should stay or
quit. You may be stuck in a situation that you
are powerless to change at least in the shortterm.
People stay in bad relationships or bad
jobs for all kinds of reasons, including survival.
You may find that in today’s uncertain work
environment, leaving is too risky, even in spite
of the damage the job is doing.
Many of us, at some point in our lives, find
ourselves in situations where none of our options
allow us to be our best selves. No matter what,
remember you said this about your situation:
“That’s just not me.” You know who you are,
and this job is not it.
It’s also not forever.
Please write to tom@tomandrecounseling.
com or text to 310.776.5299 with questions
about handling what is affecting your life,
your family, the community or the world. Tom
Andre is an Associate Marriage & Family
Therapist (AMFT96089) supervised by Chris
Thomas (MFT78020). The information in this
column is for educational purposes only and
nothing herein should be construed as professional
advice or the formation of a therapeutic
Yes–You Should be Watching Netflix’s
New Jazz Drama Series, The Eddy
By Ryan Rojas,
Executive Editor, Cinemacy
Note for note, The Eddy nails how life,
in all of its free-spirited, surprising–and at
it’s darker core, chaotic and uncontrollable–
moments, is like the beautiful harmony of
And no other current filmmaker makes
that musical leap to film better than Damien
Chazelle, who first splashed onto the scene
with 2014’s Whiplash, only to follow that
with the Hollywood musical throwback La
La Land, which made Chazelle the youngest
Best Director winner in Oscars history. With
his newest project, Chazelle side-steps narrative
features to get into the mini-series game,
here making an 8 episode story for Netflix
(now streaming). Centered around American
nightclub owner and previously prodigious
pianist, The Eddy (the name of the club) tells
the story of Elliot (Andreé Holland) trying
to save his Parisian nightclub, as well as his
band and singer (Joanna Kulig) from going
under. Throw in a newly transplanted daughter
(Amandla Sternberg) and a mob that’s come
around to settle their debts, and you get a
show that’s exciting, gripping, dramatic, and
visually stunning (the series was shot on
16mm film, which lends a grain not typical
for Netflix or any streamer).
Fans of the director will have already noticed
how Chazelle centers his stories around
gifted artists whose attempts to achieve greatness
through their craft often consume their
realities, and audiences will be happy to see
similar themes here, with Holland’s heartfelt
performance driving the show (although each
episode follows a different character). But
beyond all that, The Eddy is really at its best
when the story builds to a musical sequence,
at which point it stops to sink into the best
jazz jams you’ve heard, and all from the walls
of a real Parisian nightclub (and really, is
there anything better than being transported
to the heart of Paris while we’re all locked
down right now?). From the band’s on-stage
jams, to spontaneous musical moments that
sprout up like weeds on the streets, you’re
going to find yourself rewinding, sitting
breathlessly, and snapping to the rhythms
from the comfort of your couch.
The Eddy proves that life is just better
in the key of Damien Chazelle. ‘The Eddy’
is now streaming on Netflix. Ryan is an El
Segundo native and is the Executive Editor of
Cinemacy, read more of his reviews, features
and interviews at www.cinemacy.com. •
The Eddy, courtesy of Netflix.
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2 BDRM, 1 3/4 BTH in North
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Newer or late model truck. Cash
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