Page 2 May 20, 2021
Your Neighborhood Therapist Entertainment
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Great. I’m vaccinated. Everybody I know is
vaccinated. All my coworkers are vaccinated.
I have been successfully working from home
(my supervisor’s assessment, not mine), and
our office is opening up again in the next
few weeks or months. I don’t have a horrible
commute. I’m not afraid of catching covid
in the office. My kids’ school and childcare
situation is ok. So why am I feeling so much
dread about going back to work?
– Dreading the Office, El Segundo
Dear Dreading the Office,
You are far from the only one. And I suspect
it’s not because you’re afraid of getting
dressed, or putting on shoes, or remembering
how to drive a car.
Anytime major changes disrupt our lives,
there is room for anxiety to flare up in its
wake. There has been no shortage of predictions
about what will come after the worst of
the pandemic has subsided, and now we are
beginning the process of finding out. These
big changes could definitely be contributing
to the flare of dread.
But maybe it’s something else. Returning
to the office is also a way for bad actors to
return to their old ways. Intimidation and
office gaslighting come in many flavors. You
know who is especially excited about going
back to work? The office bully, whose career
advancement depends on the disparagement
of others. It may be that working from home
allowed your good work to speak for itself
while depriving the office bullies of the opportunity
to target others.
Office bullies have perfected the art of undermining
others - or even downright intimidating
them - while remaining technically within the
bounds of what the human resources department
has deemed acceptable behavior.
Say hello again to office cliques! To jockeying
for physical proximity to the boss! To favoring
people who show up early and stay late and
make people with family obligations look like
they’re not as “committed!” (While we’re at
it, could somebody please explain why some
bosses think people should “commit” their
lives to a corporate cause beyond the fair of
exchange of their labor for money?)
When you can do your job at home or in
another comfortable environment of your choosing,
it is only logical to ask why your presence
in the office is required. Perhaps you enjoy
rushing to make it to work on time so you can
do the same thing you did at home? You love
having people stand over your desk? It feels
good when others scrutinize how you look
and what you wear? You don’t mind a lack of
privacy in your phone conversations, do you?
I do not mean to imply that there are no
benefits to working from an office, either part
time or full time. Of course there are. But it is
also worth asking: who benefits most from a
return to the office? That dread you feel means
you probably realize it’s not you.
The good news is that you are far from
alone. The better news is that many employers
understand this, and are adapting. Perhaps it’s
worth giving them a look.
Please write to tom@tomandrecounseling.
com or text to 310.776.5299 with questions
about handling what is affecting your life,
your family, the community or the world.
Tom Andre is a Licensed Marriage & Family
Therapist (LMFT119254). The information
in this column is for educational purposes
only and nothing herein should be construed
as professional advice or the formation of a
therapeutic relationship. •
Film Review
The Killing of Two Lovers Explores
Untraditional Boundaries Within a Marriage
By Morgan Rojas for Cinemacy
In The Killing of Two Lovers, written and
directed by Robert Machoian, a middleaged
man named David (Clayne Crawford)
desperately tries to keep his family of six
together during an amicable separation from
his wife, Nikki (Sepideh Moafi). Even though
they both initially agreed they could see
other people, David can’t control his hurt
towards his wife’s new relationship and
doesn’t hold back in expressing his male
agro-rage.
Similar to how Marriage Story felt like a
personal catharsis of sorts for director Noah
Baumbach, The Killing of Two Lovers feels
like familiar territory for Machoian. Full of
heartache and angst, this character-driven
drama tells a modern story of untraditional
boundaries within a relationship and the
complexities that come with veering from
the status quo.
What sets this film apart from other relationship
dramas is that the suspense and
tension comes from what we don’t see on
screen, mainly due to the use (and overuse)
of long takes (more later). The script forces
the viewer to use their imagination as to
the thoughts, feelings, and emotions of the
other characters in the film since we see the
story unfold directly through the eyes of
the protagonist David. Although it can feel
biased at times, it’s an interesting directorial
choice which earned Machoian a nomination
for the NEXT Innovator Award at the 2021
Sundance Film Festival.
Machoian seems to really like the “long
take” technique, as he falls back on this
shooting style a little too often throughout the
film. The first couple of uses are mesmerizing
as we follow David running down a snowlined
street, or watch David drive his truck
down the highway to catch up with his wife’s
new boyfriend, or watch David and his kids
set off mini-rockets, or… you get the idea.
This observational aesthetic would have
been more impactful if used more sparingly.
Nevertheless, the scenes are gorgeous and
cinematographer Oscar Ignacio Jiménez creates
a boundless cinematic landscape to fall
in love with, almost on par with Nomadland.
The soundscape is also noteworthy; much of
the film’s tension comes from quick cues and
eerily ambiguous sounds.
For as much as The Killing of Two Lovers
feels like a never-ending upward swing of
emotional chaos, ultimately and unfortunately,
it is met with a lackluster ending.
After investing an hour and a half into this
messy and complicated family, I was hoping
for an ending that fit the bill. But that’s
life– unpredictable and sometimes: disappointing.
While it wasn’t as hard-hitting or
impressionable as I had hoped, The Killing
of Two Lovers is undeniably rich in its visual
aesthetic. It could be argued that it has a slight
case of “style over substance” syndrome,
but overall it is an impressive early feature
from all involved.
Watching The Killing of Two Lovers is best
compared to witnessing a thunderstorm. First,
the calming, almost zen-like rain begins to
intensify, and the ground starts to slightly
tremble with the anticipation of what’s to come.
A bright light flashes, catching you off-guard.
Then a large crash echoes throughout the sky,
causing a range of emotional instability like
panic, bewilderment, or fear. And then it’s
over, just as quickly as it came on.
Distributed by NEON, now available to
rent on VOD. •
The Killing of Two Lovers, courtesy NEON.
Morgan Rojas
“The good life is a process, not a state of
being. It is a direction, not a destination .”
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Employment
GLENTEK Machine Operator/
Assembler, We are seeking two
candidates. CNC machining
experience preferred. Good work
habits and work history. Send resume
to jmark@glentek.com
For Rent
3 Bedrooms, 2 Baths, Upper,
Appl iances, Immaculate, 2
miles from LMU. Rent $3,000
negotiable. Available May 20th.
310.365.1481 or 310.641.2148.
House For Rent
3 bedrooms, 3 baths, large family
room, 2-car garage, appliances,
A/C, yard, high school adjacent. Rent
$4,200. Available 6/15. 310.977.3667.
Wanted
WANTED. Vinyl, records, vinyl,
anything musical. Collectibles/
antiques. Typewriters, sewing
machines, military, silver, Japan,
records, stamps, coins, jewelry,
Chinese, ANYTHING. Buy/Sell/
Trade. We sell for you on EBAY.
Studio Antiques, El Segundo.
310.322.3895.
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